.Publisher's Note: The observing is the content of a letter from Expedition Three Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Resigned), reflecting on the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not created quite concerning specifics of this particular purpose throughout the month I have actually been actually listed here, mostly for 2 reasons: the 1st being that there has actually been incredibly little time to carry out that sort of creating, and also given that I am actually not exactly sure exactly how comfy I am actually discussing notions I provide family and friends with the remainder of the globe.Properly, obviously the globe modified today. What I say or even do is actually very small reviewed to the significance of what happened to our nation today when it was struck through ... through whom? Revolutionaries is all we know, I presume. Challenging to know at whom to direct our anger and also fear ...I had only completed a number of duties this morning, the absolute most taxing being the physical examinations of all team participants. In a personal discussion complying with that, the trip surgeon informed me they were actually possessing an incredibly negative time on the ground. I had no tip ...He illustrated the condition to me as best he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually stunned, after that terrified. My 1st idea was that this had not been a genuine conversation, that I was still paying attention to one of my Tom Clancy tapes. It only didn't seem feasible on this incrustation in our nation. I couldn't also visualize the particulars, also just before the information of more destruction started being available in.Vladimir came over quite swiftly, sensing that one thing really major was being actually discussed. I swung Michael right into the component as well. They were actually likewise impressed and also stunned. After our company authorized off, I tried to explain to Vladimir and Michael as ideal I could possibly the potential size of this particular show of fear in downtown Manhattan and at the Pentagon. They clearly knew and were actually really understanding.I glanced at the Planet Chart on the computer system to observe where over the planet we were actually and also noticed that our experts were actually coming southeast away from Canada and will be skipping New England in a handful of mins. I whized around the terminal up until I located a home window that will give me a scenery of New York City as well as grabbed the closest electronic camera. It happened to become a video camera, and I was appearing southern coming from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke appeared to have a weird blossom to it at the base of the column that was actually streaming south of the city. After reviewing some of the newspaper article our experts only obtained, I think our team were looking at NY around the moment of, or not long after, the collapse of the 2nd tower. Just how horrendous ...I swept the video camera all along the East Shoreline to the south to view if I might observe any other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, yet nothing at all was visible.It was actually rather hard to consider job after that, though we possessed some to perform, however on the upcoming orbit our team moved across the US further south. All three of us were actually working a couple of electronic cameras to make an effort to acquire sights of New york city or even Washington. There was actually haze over Washington, but no particular source might be observed. It all appeared unbelievable coming from two to three hundred miles away. I can not envision the heartbreaking settings on the ground.Besides the psychological impact of our country being actually dealt with as well as hundreds of our consumers and possibly some good friends being actually eliminated, the most frustrating sensation being actually where I am actually is one of isolation.Following time ... I reckon the exhaustion and also psychological pressure acquired the very best of me. I couldn't remain awake and also remain to create. Today was actually still complicated, yet our experts began obtaining even more information, plus we had the honor of chatting straight with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, who ensured our team that the ground groups will remain to work and ensure our safety and security, along with the risk-free operation of the Place. Our team likewise talked to our Manager, Mr. Goldin, who added that the partners in the Plan are actually all completely dedicated to continuing safe operations as well as help. These were actually certainly never inquiries for me. I understand all these individuals! The ground groups have been actually astonishingly encouraging, really understanding of the effect of the news, and also have actually made an effort to become as useful as achievable. They have all been actually quite qualified and focused though I can't envision the disturbance of this particular kind of updates can be found in as well as the thought that federal government structures may be in danger. They never ever missed a beat, even when moving nerve center. And a group of senior employees as well as pals provided us a rather thorough instruction on what was actually recognized and what was being performed in the authorities and at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was really beneficial as well as kind of all of them to carry out in the middle of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has actually additionally been actually supporting as well as practical, attempting to uplink news articles when our personal assets were actually unusable, and also stating kind words ...My crewmates have actually been terrific, also. They know it's been a challenging day for me and also the people on the ground, as well as they have actually made an effort to be as even keeled and beneficial as achievable. Michael also repaired me my favorite Borscht soup for supper. And they provide me plenty of area to think when I required it. They are very understanding and also obviously outraged at whoever would do this.I recognize numerous people in Washington, many folks who take a trip to DC and also New York City, many that are flies, that I felt certain I will get a minimum of a couple of items of bad news over the next couple of times. I acquired the first one today when I knew that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that attacked the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I met Chic throughout plebe summer season when our company remained in the D&B with each other, and also we possessed bunches of lessons with each other. I can not envision what he should of undergone, and right now I hear that he may possess risen better than we may even think of through perhaps stopping his aircraft from being the one to attack the White Residence. What an awful reduction, yet I make sure Chic was actually combating fearlessly to the end. And also rips do not circulate the very same precede ...It's complicated to describe just how it feels to become the only United States completely off the planet at once including this. The feeling that I must be there with every one of you, dealing with this, helping in some way, is actually mind-boggling. I know that we are on the threshold (or even past) of a dreadful change in the past history of the planet. Many traits will definitely never coincide once again after September 11, 2001. Not merely for the manies thousand as well as lots of individuals straight impacted by these hideous acts of violence, but possibly for everyone. Our team are going to locate our own selves really feeling in different ways regarding loads of traits, featuring probably space expedition, regrettably.It is actually horrendous to find smoke cigarettes putting coming from cuts in your own country coming from such an amazing vantage point. The dichotomy of getting on a spacecraft devoted to strengthening life on the earth and enjoying lifestyle being actually damaged through such deliberate, horrible process is actually jolting to the mind, regardless of that you are actually. As well as the knowledge that whatever are going to be actually different than when our experts launched due to the time we land is a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our nation as well as in our leadership that our experts are going to carry out whatever achievable to far better shield her and also our households, and also to take compensation for what has been actually done. I have peace of mind that the good individuals at NASA will carry out whatever required to proceed our objective safely and return our team safely at the correct time. And also I miss every one of you quite. I can't exist along with you personally, and we possess a long way to go to finish our purpose, however be actually particular that my center is actually with you, and understand you reside in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the last letter ... Luckily, it's been a busy full week up listed below. As well as to show that, like our nation, we are continuing our intended pathway with business as usual (as high as feasible). Tonight the most up to date enhancement to the station, the Russian Docking Compartment will definitely be actually introduced from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday evening (US opportunity), it will dock along with us, at a port never ever utilized just before on the nadir side of the Service Module. This brand-new component will offer our company another place to dock a Development or even Soyuz and will definitely deliver a big airlock with two useable hatches for performing EVA's in Russian Orlan satisfies, which our team will perform a few of before we come home.The concern prior to in handling today was insufficient news. The problem right now is too much. It came all at once when e-mail was repaired, and also there is actually insufficient time to read everything! Plus it's also hard to manage all of it instantly. But I cherish acquiring it, as well as I truly enjoy the excellent letters of help as well as relationship I am actually receiving.Our company are doing well aboard, acquiring our job carried out, as well as talking about things. Final night our team possessed a lengthy discussion over supper about the significance of these occasions, the feasible activities to comply with, as well as what ought to be actually done. After dinner, Michael made a point of telling me that every email he got coming from close friends in Russia said exclusively to inform me how regretful they were that this occurred, extending their acknowledgements, and inquiring just how I was actually carrying out. Vladimir educated me the Russian term for "acknowledgements" after talking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian as well as the English terms are a lot too lengthy to pronounce conveniently.) Incredibly type folks.For the last two days, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to transmit online broadcasts of broadcast headlines about the celebration and affiliated tales, to be sure I was actually well informed. Every expert that has started the line to discuss a procedure or a complication contends some aspect stretched hellos to me along with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our team that because of the special day of remembrance in the US, throughout the day individuals had actually been taking florals and lining all the wall surfaces of the United States consulate in Moscow, and this night they were actually igniting candlesticks in the street outside the consular office. How the world has actually transformed.People almost everywhere appear to recognize the senselessness as well as terror in this particular strike. As well as the significant reduction. Moscow has dealt with these sort of problems in the last few years with home and also metro battles, so they are actually as distressed to remove this danger as our experts are. But the bottom collection is actually that there are actually good people just about everywhere who intend to reside in calmness. I read that a youngster talked to, "United States is so great to various other nations, our team constantly aid everybody, exactly how can they despise us a great deal?".I wish the example of teamwork and trust that this space capsule and all people in the system display daily are going to someday encourage the remainder of the world to work the same way. They must!Sadly, we will not be flighting over the United States while people are actually lighting candle lights. Don't know if our experts might find that in any case. Our team did, nonetheless, view a quite unique as well as attractive view a few minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Area on a Soyuz booster. We were actually overtaking it as well as it came into view about three minutes after its own launch from Baikonur as the sunlight attacked our station, so it was actually still in the dark. It looked like a big comet along with a straight, wide rear silhouetted against the darker planet underneath. In spite of some negative lights for a while as the sun hit our window at a reduced perspective, I dealt with some video clip of it as to begin with we passed the rocket, and then viewed it begin to catch up as it obtained altitude and also speed. I recorded till primary motor cutoff and also booster separation took place just as our experts moved toward dawn on the Mountain ranges. A memorable attraction in a remarkable full week ...Lifestyle takes place, even in space. Our company're listed below to stay ... Frank.